When your brain acts like superglue

In the last post, we looked at when it was OK to lie; to recap, that is when you are resetting your brain’s self-sabotaging coding with better, up-to-date beliefs.

Here’s another rule of the mind: your subconscious mind hates you to lose things.

This means, if you have something you wish to see the back of, don’t ‘own’ it.

This is because your mind tries to hold on like superglue to anything it thinks it perceives as a loss as it sees this as something negative and harmful to your well-being.

This relates to all manner of things but let’s take a wish to lose excess weight as an example: if you keep saying, “I must lose weight!”, your subconscious will panic and do all it can to hold onto your excess fat!

Then, before you know it, you are seemingly controlled by some alien entity and sabotaging your weight loss efforts by raiding the cake tin and having ‘just a small slice’ (and again and again, until it is all gone).

Furious with yourself, you comfort eat even more… and then decide as you’ve ‘messed up’, you’ll relax for the rest of the week and resume sensible eating on Monday.

What to do?

First, avoid using ‘losing’ words; for example, instead of saying “ I must lose weight”, say things like, “My body is using its fat stores, like it’s designed to do”, “I’m becoming leaner each day” and “I can eat cake, but I choose to eat healthily instead”.

You can likewise change, “I must fall asleep” to “sleep is gently wrapping around me” and “I must stop drinking wine every day” to “I can have wine at the weekend, and I choose to herbal tea during the week”.

Secondly, if you own a problem, your subconscious will want to keep it, so remove your ‘self’ from the issue.

For example, when you are talking about a problem you have, drop the word ‘my’: change “my fat” to “the fat”, “my insomnia” to “the insomnia” and “my wine habit” to “the wine habit”.

Of course, you may be a perfect weight, not have a problem sleeping and dislike herbal tea, but you get the gist – just study the way you speak to yourself, change negatives to positives and start seeing your problems as separate things to ‘you’.

It’s amazing what differences can be made with this simple process!

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This was an article I wrote for the Jersey Evening Post on 24 June 2020

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